


Untied

by eurydice72



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e06 Wild At Heart, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 18:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19340014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eurydice72/pseuds/eurydice72
Summary: Oz has one more thing to do before he can leave Sunnydale.





	Untied

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "beautiful" space on my Buffyverse Bingo card.

Oz’s knuckles burn as he grips the steering wheel. As badly as he wants to let them out, he holds back the tears that have been threatening since Willow walked into his room. He must. He still has one more thing to do before he can leave Sunnydale, one more person to talk to, one more hurdle to get over before he changes his mind about going again. The hard part is over, so it should be easy.

Anything is easier than seeing Willow cry.

He pulls up in front of the apartment complex and grabs the bag from behind the passenger seat. He could’ve left it in his room with a note, but then he wouldn’t be able to make his request. In his head, he knows it’s foolish. His heart doesn’t care. It’s already lost the war, and it needs this particular battle to be a victory.

The door swings open on the first knock. “Oz?” Giles glances over Oz’s shoulder, the lines already worn between his brows. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I came to return these.”

The plastic rustles as Giles takes the bag. “Oh.” His worry is eased. His shoulders relax because this is a scenario they’ve played out more than once over the past few months, though it will not end in the way Giles expects. He steps back to allow room for Oz to enter. “You’ll never guess what an old colleague sent me. Somehow, he acquired demo tapes made by Mabel Greer’s Toyshop. Now, I know it’s not vinyl—”

“Thanks, but I don’t have time to talk.” He has to interrupt. He can’t fall back into familiar patterns, no matter how comfortable they are. “I just wanted to give you back the records I had because I’m not going to be around for a while.”

The frown returns. “Where are you going?” Giles asks carefully.

Oz shrugs. “Not sure yet. I have to figure some things out.”

“Does Willow know?”

“Yes.” It might’ve been painful, but at least he doesn’t have to lie. 

The admission seems to be enough to stop Giles’s line of inquiry. “I’m sorry to see you go. You’re the only one of the bunch with decent taste in music.”

Oz smiles at that, just a little, because it’s a worn joke between them, and he needs that to erase the memories of Willow’s tear-stained voice. “If I hear anything interesting, I’ll make sure to bring it back.”

“So you _are_ returning.”

“That’s the plan.” Otherwise, why would leaving be worth it? “I was wondering, though…”

“Yes?” 

Oz shoves his empty hands into his pockets to quell the sudden tremors. “Not that I expect to find many turntables on the road, but I’d kind of like to borrow _Thirty Three & 1/3_ in case I do. I promise, I’ll take excellent care of it,” he rushes to add. “It’s just…it’ll remind me of home.”

He almost turns and bolts. The look of pity on Giles’s face is too stark to bear.

“Of course.” Giles retreats into his apartment and ducks out of view to survey his record collection. It takes only a moment before he straightens with George Harrison’s album in hand. “If you like, you’re welcome to borrow others,” he says. “I know you’ll take care of them.”

“George is enough.”

They don’t bother with the bag. It’s probably better that way. Oz’s hands are still shaking.

Back in the van, Oz tucks the record away where it won’t get damaged. He’s got a friend up the coast who will copy it onto tape for him to listen to while he drives. The album’s good, but he only really cares about the third track. From the first moment he heard “Beautiful Girl,” he’s associated it with Willow.

__

_Never seen such a beautiful girl_  
_Got me shaking inside_  
_Calling on me from deep within her eyes_

He hums along with the song in his head as he pulls away. It helps, because he aches, leaving her behind like this. He might have said this was about controlling his wolf, and it is, but it’s more than that, too. It’s about his future, the one he’s always wanted with Willow center stage. He needs to remember her so he can do what needs to be done, remember everything that was good and beautiful about what she gave to him, so he can give her all that he can when he returns.

Because he will. He has to.

Willow is here.

Along with all the pieces left of his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> To listen to the song: [ Beautiful Girl](https://youtu.be/zU3KrCSfdhE)


End file.
